May 23, 2007

MARVEL x SINGAPORE

Today, i'll rant about Singapore, and The Silver Surfer.

Singapore's very simple,

Common things to do on board the public transport system are eating secretly with the art of the Ninja while avoiding the 'green men on patrol', blasting music and stretching legs across the carriage, making it seem like those Olympic hurdle courses. A sub-culture of young angry teenagers (fucktwits or si-ginnah or ginnapis) of Singapore is to blast or show off how loud their mp3 capable phones are to the public. Songs played range US Hippyhopyocheckitoutshaketheroomyoahyoshakenehnehshakemyroomhisroom to Taiwanese pop to Aishiterupop to Kimchipop. Not to mention Singaporeans have a tendency to lean on things especially metallic poles(maybe due to lack of pole dancing). They fail to understand what is a grab pole and often misinterpret it as lean pole or sleeping pole. Young kids love them! They tend to twirl and swing around it kicking everyone's legs and pulling every lady's skirts,jeans,pants down. They also like to do monkey climb with the hand grips. Singaporeans have also a unexplainable fear of going to the 'center of the car'. This is most evident during peak hours when the 'center of the car' is quite empty while the areas around the exits are packed until everyone is smooching and licking each other's face,makeup,perfume not to mention Foreign Talents' hairy armpits (which reeks from medicinal herbs to spices and goat's milk). There will soon be a new type of dance called 'center of the car' dance, meant for people who wanna dance in mrt cabins as there is too much space.

Here we have The Silver Surfer for the upcoming Fantastic Four movie. The first movie was okay, considering it's the 'premiere' of the fantastic four on the big screen. A sequel is made and the Silver Surfer is in it. What's wrong with silver surfer? Let's take a look at pictures shall we?

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Movie version of the S-man

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Cartoon version of the S-man
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Recent comic version of the S-man

Let me tell you what's wrong. Not only is a boring and subtle character for a 'half-villain', he's ugly. This cosmic fuckface has no genitals, hair nor expression on his face. I believe he came out of the blast furnace, just SILVER instead of IRON. At least Iron-man made his own costume and had no MAGICAL powers.

So Silver Surfer serves the almighty 'Devourer of the planets' Galactus(yet another tin-headed cosmic fuckface) and is one of the villains in Fantastic 4 universe, which in indirectly connected to all Marvel Universes on earth 616. Originally an astronomer named Norrin Radd, he agreed to serve the god-like entity known as Galactus. Granted powers like no others, and a SILVER BOARD as his mobility vehicle. WHAT A JOKE, A SURFBOARD? What's funny is, is that it was modelled after Norrin's childhood fantasy. You gotta be kidding me right?

The S-man may probably be the ugliest hero and sometimes villain in marvel universes, looking at him makes me wanna puke mudkips =/

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